Amidst the Miss

I’m going to miss missing you

I don’t know if that’s something I should admit

that I’m going to miss being hurt on a constant basis

I’m such a masochist

but I can’t help it

I’d rather have felt it than not

But I guess

there’s more to it

I’ll miss reading into everything you say

far more than I should

hoping it had a deeper meaning

and said something about how you feel about me

I’ll miss overanalyzing everything you do

staying up all night with it

picking apart how I might have put you off

I’ll miss wondering what I did

and over-criticizing my flaws

I’ll miss having to deny

that you not being mine

bothers me

and that I've never been a priority

I'm simply how you pass your free time

I’ll miss being monogamous

to a relationship that doesn’t exist