2/3
Would it be facetious of me
to say I'm speechless
although I have so much to say
my pain can be contained
rather than speaking in vain
What should I divulge
and what would it solve
if I talk about how broken I am
Should I put it out there like a warning
although it's only me mourning
who I used to be
and the part of me I've lost
How do I find the words
and at what cost
do I find a way
to make myself happy
when happiness
is no longer something I can obtain
Destroyed by the unplanned
like grains of sand
slip through my hands,
yet all the while flawlessly
pretending to be okay
Despite it all
at the end of the day
love is how I measure my wealth
but the thing is
my richness
is limited
and it's impossible
for my soul
to be whole
when I'm missing
one third of myself
Tis the season...
Why do we always get attracted to shit we not supposed to have? I am talking about everything from relationships to careers. If something feels forced, we have to learn to leave it alone. Letting go can be the scariest thing ever but in the end of the journey you will find happiness. The biggest problem we have is admitting our losses. Its ok to be wrong but it’s not ok to betray yourself by settling in anything that don’t feed your purpose. Let go what is not meant for you. Tis the season we learn and mature. Grow to the full potential we were always meant to be. We owe ourselves that.
Peace and Love
Be the CREATOR
The GLORY is in you. You can design your own life. You want something? Go after it. You want to live somewhere? Move there. It’s time for you to take charge of your dreams. Apply hard work and live life to the fullest. Love what you do. Create it.
Peace and Love
Picture the KEYS
Realizing what you want to do in life is BEAUTY. I pray you feel it. Do what matter most to you. Enjoy every breath. Hope you get to smile more. Reach to the heavens. You deserve that. Leave those tears in the past. You deserve everything good in this world.
Peace and Love
Take a ride
When in doubt, create. Stay the course. Love what you do. Enjoy the ride.
Peace and Love
The BluePrint
I wish I can tell you about growth but you have to experience it. You need to have the ability to look into yourself and realize the thing you're doing at the moment does not define you. When you are born into poverty, it seems like everything is impossible. The word "can't" is the most common word used in our community. It’s very hard to unlearn what you are taught in the classroom as a minority. Because of this, it is common that you cannot see past the negative energy you are born into. But let’s look at a drug dealer turned rapper turned mogul; Jay-Z. People automatically will ask, "why would I prop someone up that is so flawed?" But he is the perfect example of growth of a person that is so imperfect.
I was 11 years old when I first heard my favorite artist. My mother’s "friend" brought me 4 CDs and told me listen to them. He said I could keep my favorite 2. The 4 CDs were Nas: Illmatic, Biggie: Ready to Die, The Fugees: The score, and Jay-Z: The Reasonable Doubt. The one I picked to listen to first was Jay-Z's first album. The black and white Gambino look was interesting to my 11 year old brain. The first song I heard, on my borrowed cd player, was "Can’t knock the Hustle" featuring Mary J Blige. It instantly made an impression on me and I remember thinking this is the greatest album I've listened to. I tried listening to other albums and would always go back to my new favorite album. I loved the Nas album and Biggies album but couldn’t leave The Reasonable Doubt album alone. A few days later the "friend" asked me which one am I keeping. I told him The Fugees album and Jay-Z's album. He looked at me while laughing and asked "what do you know about that?" I told him, "he is going to be the greatest rapper of all time". He laughed at me and said, "there’s no way he will ever top Biggie and Snoop Dogg". Fast forward to this "friend" visiting again and he tells me "hey, your boy just dropped new music". Naturally, I started to beg my mom for some new music. My Puerto Rican mom did not know anything about the music I was so attached to so she bought me Puff Daddy’s first album. I was disappointed but excited cause Jay-Z was featured in a song on Puff Daddy’s classic album. My mom's "friend" bought me the album and told me about how Jay-Z had a mini movie called The Street is Watching. I couldn't watch it because I was too young at the time. Now you know I snuck that VHS tape into my room to watch it when my mother wasn’t home.
While I kept growing, Jay-Z kept dropping music. He didn't only release albums but freestyles on mixtapes that I could afford. While barbershop arguments kept telling me that he just rapped about money, I listened to the actual words he was rapping. I don’t just listen to the beat but the metaphors and similes that the artist is rapping has to connect to me. The things he was rapping about I was seeing in my environments; drugs, hustlers, local rappers, etc. The more his popularity grew, the more I heard the teachings in his songs. No, it wasn’t ABC riddles but I started hearing him rapping about the lack of black people the higher he got in corporate. I could tell he was figuring out his new calling. You can’t do the same thing forever, in any profession. You have to grow. He started to create businesses and creating jobs for his fellow friends and associates. He was creating opportunities for minorities. He started to fulfill the vision for his circle. He began to establish himself as a powerful entrepreneur. He was laying down the BLUEPRINT for everyone else. We are usually blind to it because we can’t see past our flaws and most of the time we operate in fear. The BLUEPRINT to grow within your profession. The BLUEPRINT to establish yourself and then create opportunities. See, when everyone is talking shit about Jay-Z's moves with the NFL after the Kaepernick situation or his relationship gossip bullshit, I am seeing BLUEPRINTs. I am seeing how to make moves and staying ahead. We need to start appreciating footprints left for us and be ready to create our own BLUEPRINTs.
Congrats to JAY-Z on THE ROCK & ROLL HALL OF FAME
Peace and Love
Be HUMAN
The world we live in is ugly. But the world hasn’t changed. Evil will live on while the good hide and bask in their glory. The world change when the people decide to rise up and me a difference in the forgotten community. What our brothers and sisters are going through in the Middle East is disgusting and our fault. Our? You ask. We declare war on everything from drugs to people. We supported our troops to conquer all. But that’s not the answer. Instead of conquering all we should be doing is nurturing all. Lead with peace and love. Yeah evil will try to disturb it but we cannot falter. Our time is now. I hate how normal we can act when Haiti is suffering. The world is still suffering from the pandemic. Our lives are full of suffering and we have to brush it off because the government “will handle it”. That’s BULLSHIT. We cannot stand for that. We have to help each other. We have to be HUMAN. We have to show sympathy and be caring. There are mothers and children dying. See the news will speak on the horrific situation for about 2-3 mins and go to commercial. That is not helping anyone. We need to refuge these humans. We need to provide and assist in any kind of way we can. See forget the money part of it because if we don’t we will not solve anything. Capitalism does not solve anything but temporary feelings . Let’s not forget the children still locked up in cages with their parents missing. We can save lives!!! It’s our Human right to live without fear or persecution. People wake up!!!!!!!! We can do something about all of it.
Peace and Love
In the Heights
Celebrate OUR people. Celebrate PEOPLE everyday. Be proud of your HERITAGE.
I remember being afraid of “reppin” my own culture. Living in the States my whole life blinded me. I thought hiding my Puerto Rican culture was cool. Looking back on it I am more embarrassed than ever. I wish I would’ve tapped into my heritage more. We need more of us in creative places. I promise myself I would never deny my bloodline. I need to rep it till death.
I watched the controversial movie and I get it. But before we jump on the fact that they missed telling the Afro Latino side of the story. We cannot be upset that they opened the door for the conversations. In my experience they call us lazy and uneducated among other stereo type bullshit they created. Why we are so fast to disapprove a project that our culture is LUCKY to come to fruition? We have to be careful. We have to have room to create and grow from that creative experience. Yes say we want to have Afro Latino on the big screen presented correctly but we cannot cancel the whole project. That is still our people creating opportunities. Do you understand how hard it is to open the door for someone else. For a culture? A culture that has been denied representation on any screen. We deserve this. So please stop the cancellations of progress. We cannot move two steps forward and then move one step backwards. We cannot afford that. Look life is a learning process and we will learn but for now enjoy the ride, sing along, we are arriving at a time our motherlands are being forgotten. We cannot contribute on cancelling our ourselves out of opportunities. We have to keep US alive!!!!!
Peace and Love
Dear Mom
You birth us. Nurtured us. How can we over look you. We should treasure you everyday. You deserve flowers while you can smell them. Keeping the family together by your love and grace. There when we cry. There for some wisdom. Dear mama I love you. For all mothers, smile everyday. You deserve the sunshine.
Peace and Love
Dark Man X
You cannot quantify how much you mean to someone. Or how much someone loves you. People dream of touching souls by poetry, music, other art forms. The man who prayed through his music. People forgot about what exactly he contributed to us, not only through music but the lifestyle we try to live. Authenticity. Everybody want to be the realest. To walk along your demons and fight them in public is courageous. That’s why we forgot about DMX. Everybody is so busy keeping up to their fake persona. That’s why we failed him when we saw him living his truth. We judged him. DMX was not only a great rapper but he preached to us so many times and I admit I didn’t listen because I was so young. At the time I was just listening to gangsta music. But now i’m listening to all his old albums and it speaks to my heart. The prayers, the message that god never leaves our side even when we do wrong. Amazing. Just wanted to say thank you DMX. As a true hiphop head I want to say R.I.P and thanks for the Anthems.
Peace and Love
UMI Says
“My Umi said shine your light on the world
Shine your light for the world to see
My Abi said shine your light on the world
Shine your light for the world to see” -Mos def
We deserve better. We deserve the richness of the earth. Our people have suffered enough. If I hear “Rob you not black” you are part of the fucking problem. I am 100 percent Puerto Rican and Latin people has suffered, also been oppressed. We can’t categorize ourselves. Suffering is suffering there’s no comparing. I see all of us as one. Even poor white people. Look how the Jews were treated. We are fooling ourselves to to think that one side has gone through more suffering than the other. We all have to heal some type of scar. Where do you think our anxiety come from. Nervousness while we drive with a LEGAL license. People skeptical about policies from politicians promising a better tomorrow. We all going through shit because we have been condition by society they have created. See I just want people to be FREE.
Look how corrupted this system is. You buy too many stocks and make the rich suffer and they put in new restrictions. This is not about being “woke”. This is about the fairness. For example, corporations are profiting off marijuana and States refuse to release the entrepreneurs of “color” for the same shit. Everyday is becoming more evident that people has lost touch of reality. In reality, should we become a slave to a car payment or to pay our mortgage? Life has to be about more. We need better wages for the lower class. A better healthcare system. See these ideas are not from a radical, its from common sense. No matter what party you in or background you come from you have to realize living “regular”shouldn’t cost us our lives. Love and compassion is the only way we can survive through this experiment.
Peace and Love
Can’t knock the HUSTLE
Keep pushing. No matter what. Dark days don’t last. Be strong. Be you. Be great. Work on your goals. Work in your own pace. Don’t forget to love the process. Remember stick to your business. Don’t let the 9-5 define you. Follow your heart. Fuck every thing and everybody else that don’t match with your goals. Stay on course. Be inspired and keep hustling.
Peace and Love
Pimps Don’t wear Rabbits
Happy New Year my readers. Life is coming at us fast and we have to keep up. But do me a favor and have time for yourself. Unwind and let go of the news. Stay off social media. We all need it. With everything that happened in 2020 I believe 2021 is going to be the biggest roller coaster. What we need to focus more this year is our mental health. It's going to be ruff but I swear we have to be open to talk about it. It’s not about tweeting it or Facebooking it. Open up and save yourself. Be real with yourself. In this world you cannot fake it till you make it. Now it's time to exercise and meditate. Believe me it works. Don’t let this world run you, Run the world. How you say? Love yourself and see your potential. Like A Biggie song said…“The world is filled with pimps and hoes”. So be the Pimp. Make your money. Don’t let them take your soul. Keep it and take care of yourself. The worlds needs YOU.
Peace and Love
Let the record play
We seen this play before. History repeats itself. Division creates chaos. Brings pain. Tear families apart. Politics is fake. People are suffering and we are worried about the wrong shit. Perspective is hard to come by. Why are we infatuated with the fall from grace? Same music different beat. Marching on the streets. Corporations fail us again and again. Broken promises from the rich. I give you two cents if you work for me. I can’t guarantee happiness but I can guarantee opportunity. Is that all we need in the world? Kids going hungry in concentration camps. America cries. Same music different beat. These days…days are similar. People dying and we keep arguing about sports. People dying and we trying to break curfews. People dying and we make sacrifices for paychecks. We not right or wrong, it’s the survival of the fittest. Let the record play… the almighty spirit knows my heart.
Peace and Love
Breathe, Meditate, Execute
Cleanse in every way you can. Right now it’s important for your mental health to take care of yourself. Breathe, Meditate and Execute. Now more than ever you can see tomorrow isn’t promised so you might feel the urgency to “make it happen”. But don’t rush because if it’s meant for you it will happen no matter what. I read a quote the other day… “You can’t fuck up anything meant for you, so stop being so afraid of what will happen.” I know everyone has demons and have to confront them but just breathe and talk to someone. Call someone. Do yourself a favor and don’t be afraid of anything. I use to be. I was raised in a household where we do not understand the job of the spider. We were thought to be afraid of it and kill it but now that I have studied it… you can’t hurt me now. See fear has it’s purpose. The spider helps us more than you know. If you don’t get it by now I am not talking about a real life spider, it’s a analogy. Some things are here to teach you. There are signs everywhere. Don’t ignore them. From the spirit world trying to guide you away from certain people/person or situations. I know it’s hard to let go. Believe me I know but it's for the best. Your best. Cleanse your soul. Be heavy on your love. Our lives means something. We are here for a reason. Let your heart speak. Be true to what your say and do your best. No one can take that away. I leave you with my quote that I have learned in so many ways…When your heart is genuine you gain more than you lose. Remember that….
Peace and Love
MAD MAX with THE VISION
I was told once that it don’t matter what I did in my life, I was destined to be GREAT. With that said I tried so many things. I tried to be a cook, tried corporate America just to name a few. I tried so many different jobs and I could not fit in. I even stressed about their business and future, all the while I didn’t make any moves to create my own future. Have you been in orientation and they are preaching about “how easy it is to move up in this company”? I laugh everytime I think about it. But as soon you start to work your ass off, they start making excuses on why they haven’t moved you up. When you question why their meetings are full of white faces their excuses become tales from a fake fireplace. I am not going to lie, I almost fell for it. Imagine falling for an abusive relationship mentally and physically. They don’t see that they wear you down. They are not trained to care for your mind and spirit. At the end of the day, it’s about the bottom line. My bottom line is fuck that, take care of yourself. My favorite line in any movie is one from the MATRIX when NEO asked Morpheus “If you’re killed in the MATRIX…you die here? MORPHEUS answers “The body cannot live without the mind.” See, the mind can be so powerful but yet so fragile and they know that. Companies love it when they can get a yes man that doesn’t question the status quo. Keep you in a box and that is ok if it’s good to you. God bless. If you are ok just being just a stat on their boards, go ahead. My dream is to be bigger. My goals is to achieve them. The VISION is clear now. The more I work on them, the more I feel the importance of my path. I LOVE writing so much. Do not let anyone change your focus. Steer clear ahead, press on the gas pedal, brake when you need to but stay the course. I leave you with these lyrics that stays on mind…
Now
To the edge I'll race
To the end I'll make it
All the risk, I'll take it
Head bang with my faux friends
We pour a taste out for the dead
This is the blood, the body, the life right now
The height right now
Might be what I need
Might be what I need
Said you wanna hurt me now
You can't hurt me now
That might be what you need
What it means to be alive on this side
(You wanna kill me now) on this side
(Don't let me down) on this side
(Down, down)
Fuck the other side
I'm on this side
I'm on this side
I'm on this side
How it feels to have arrived
I'm inside, I'm inside
Those are my n***** for life
Mothers of us be kind
To the fathers on whom we rely
Fathers of us be kind
To the mothers on whom we rely
Ah, ah
Ah, ah
Ah, ah
Ah, ah
Ah
We know you're sugar
We know you're sweet like a sucker
Pretty sweet
Pretty sweet
by Frank Ocean
PEACE and LOVE
We come in PEACE
I remember when I read stories of immigrants coming from European countries and how they were treated by putting them in ghettos. Of course this was before the great depression when they dreamed of freedom and liberty in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. The point of America is that she is a symbol for EVERYONE around the WORLD. When did the stigma of being an immigrant start? What are we scared of? Right now we have over 450 kids locked up in cages like criminals while they lost their parents. I really want to know how?!! With an epidemic thriving these kids are not safe locked up without their parents. We are physically and mentally damaging them. There has to be a way to save them. I cannot be the only one that care. Right? It’s criminal what is happening to them. On this Sunday morning we have to not only pray for these kids but take action. Their parents came here dreaming of a better life for their young ones and now the kids don’t understand what’s going on. We complain everyday about our lives and there are people trying to cross rivers for this life. Climb mountains for this life. Their kids deserve better but instead they are locked up. America the time is NOW to show our heart. Show compassion to the kids that are innocent. We need to show..
Peace and Love
Are you not entertained?
We love our freedom. We love that we can own guns, go to the shooting range and test them out. We love that we can drive from NYC to Los Ángeles without a problem. We can eat burgers everyday of the week. But when is enough actually enough? Over 200,000 Americans died of COVID and we are totally ignoring it. I just seen a college football game that allowed tons of fans into the field just because they won a game. But the irony is we are losing against the pandemic. LOSING. America is all about winning but we are letting our best interest get in the way. Listen, I do not want to stay home 24/7, 365 days this year but if we keep ignoring the FACTS — 2021 is going to be the worst year yet. We have been breaking records DAILY for new confirmed cases. People having large gatherings without wearing a mask. The NFL is letting fans into their stadium after the United States had a horrible week with Covid cases. The truth is as people we want to be entertained and feel like nothing is wrong because we want to feel all warm and secure inside. Hospitals are being overrun and their staff members are exhausted. But we don’t care, do we? The truth is we rather risk it all just for life pleasures. Honestly, it’s DISGUSTING. We do not care about other people’s health issues and that’s not what this experience is all about. Schools are struggling, small businesses are suffering but the government wants to look at election results instead of helping their people. It's getting ugly out here and bankruptcy for most people is a real thing. So because we can’t lean on them, we have to be more aware and thoughtful of our actions. We have to care about one another. European countries are starting to shut down again and we haven’t even discussed it yet. When will we learn we cannot live normal lives. We cannot live with the pandemic looming over us. This is not a rain storm that we can name and let it pass by. We have to confront it and make sure we can help the elderly and the people most at risk. No, i’m not a scientist and I do not have all the answers but I know whatever we’re doing now is not working. Our life is heading the wrong way. I know I want normalcy back but not at the expense of my grandparents. Not at the expense of my kids. What will it take for us to choose our lives instead of being entertained? Last thing I will say are the words of the GOAT Jay-Z…
“Survive the droughts? I wish you well? How sick am I? I wish you health. I wish you wheels, I wish you wealth. I wish you insight so you could see for yourself”
Peace and Love
The Sunflower under the Moon
We stuck in La la land… Our cities are hurting more than ever. Homicides are a daily thing and we have to stop the bleeding. I know it seems normal to lose someone in our mid 20s or 30s but think about it people, we shouldn’t have to bury our friends and family over shootings. There are many factors why we result to violence but we have to realize taking someone’s life is not the answer. The hill is steep enough fighting against the inhumane conditions they have built for us but this is the time to come together. Violence is not the answer. We have to be resilient even though we were born out of tragedies. We can build through love and peace. Not everything has to be to the death. We have to learn from our past. Stop pointing your guns at your bothers and sisters. Let's normalize happiness and togetherness within our people. More life…
Peace and Love