Indifference

He asks if I miss him,

and the truth is —

I don’t have a preference.

His existence

makes no difference to me.

It’s strange how

his absence

has the same affect as his presence,

when months ago, even moments

between text messages

felt torturous.

I practically held my breath

until the next time I saw him.

And now?

Perhaps I’m numb —

or better yet, healed.

I feel

nothing,

except regret and confusion

for giving him

what he never deserved,

and wondering

how I could.