Numb Enough

Numb, but not numb enough

to stop feeling stressed

or depressed—

but numb nonetheless.

It’s time

to reassess,

because in the process

of pursuing

feeling something—

anything at all—

I’ve been making fast,

rash decisions,

doing whatever feels good

in the moment,

only to end up reflecting,

wondering

if I’m just being reckless,

trying to feel something

through the numbness—

even to my detriment,

like swimming

tied to blocks of cement.