Poetry Reluctancy

I don't even want to write anymore because everything

always comes back to him

I try to steer

clear

of that genre

and I hate

that I always end up here

producing

lines that fixate

on heart ache

as if I want to be reducing

my art to this

emotional roller coaster drama

I don't even want to write anymore

because it always circulates

around the debilitating

weight

of loving someone who can not reciprocate

someone who is incapable of love

or at least

incapable of loving me

I pick up a pen

to do anything

but think of him

and yet

it quickly

becomes just that

tear stained pages

with eloquently

worded phrases

that simply decorate

my suffering

Written down

are all the things I could never say

aloud

to him

or anyone

wasted ink

on crumbled pages

he infects every piece

I write

contagious