#SundaySessions

Wake up

Get to these digits

Move that pivet

You should watch the movie

In fact LIVE it

Fly out for a weekend

I see everything WE did has been copied

SCOREboard... bodied

Bitches named Karens and mollies

Sorry Mr. Holiness

I know Sunday’s are for blessings

How can you blame me

Her feet up Toes painted

Friends leaned back from the night before like they fainted

Don't mind them they just ghetto

We just some fellows

Rolling some cigarillos

Reliving last nite flexin

Riding no texting

Smiles and blunts

When you live it don't forget to stunt

Not for them, but for us

We have to feel alive

Mami spread ur wings

Mix the Red Bull with vodka

Yea u can fly too

Life can be sweet...but Don't forget to tweet it

Whatever comes out your mouth

Just mean it

Peace & Love

Who are you? Really?

Who are you? Really?

I ask myself this question everyday

Cause fitting into a box

Makes me feel some type of way

I am an entity that cannot be defined

There are parts of me that are accepted and parts that are declined

But as I grow through life I’m starting to realize

I am not one category of person

And as of now my direction may not be determined

But I can’t let that stop me

From clearing a path and trusting that God got me

Because to some I’m a hoe

And to others I’m an angel

Cause they know my soul

And don’t let opinions of others bring them to anger

To some I’m very articulate

And to others they just ain’t hearing it

So I change how I talk

So they can comprehend

I change the way they I walk in my world

So they can fit within

But when the tables turn

That’s when you learn

Who’s here for benefits

And who’s just here for the hell of it

A shoulder to lean on

Until they don’t need it no more

A place to confide in

Until they find new arms to hide in

And once they’ve got what they wanted

You’re just a bitch from their past that gave them some ass

But see me I’m different

No your name won’t be mentioned

But I still remember the way you used to listen

How my voice would crack and you could tell exactly what I was feeling

And maybe it just wasn’t the right time

Maybe later in the universe

Again our hearts will intertwine

But for now

I’ll let you run free

Find live in yourself

Instead of in someone else

So go bump yo Jill Scott and 50 cent

Blast your Juice World and Eminem

Sang yo Erykah and Ari Lennox

Spit that Cole and Kendrick

Shake yo ass to Megan

And pray to Lacrae

Cause no matter what you do honey

These pussy niggas gonna always feel some type of way

Ponce's King

Cannot built a kingdom in one day but we can lay the foundation

Born a sinner

From adolescent he was counted out

Starved from education

A diamond in the rough

Left to die

No time to give up

Dig deeper

Keep creating chances for yourself

Don’t take no for answer

Hold the Champagne

No time to celebrate

Have to make them pay with the sword

Live with no regrets

Protect your kingdom at all cost

Build your city from ruins to triumph

Now they look at you to lead them to the promised land

While everyone run from the storm

he swing his mighty sword under the rain

You can’t touch him

He was brought up by PAIN

Fatherless

But heart full of joy

Stick to the script

This is the one shot everyone is seeking for

Conquering Fears

He understand nothing last FOREVER

The Phenix has risen

Peace & Love

Song that inspired me to write thing poem: Kanye West “Power”, Jay-z “ What more can I Say”

238,855

They ask how much do you love her

Ask how much do you want her

To the moon and back I tell them

How many miles will you run

How many steps will you take

To the moon and back

When I was hurt it took me so long to get back

To myself

So many miles

So many fake smiles

Through the fire

When I was slippin

Like no traction on my tires

I thought of you

Now I have you

I’m so happy I don’t have to be a liar

See I want to travel the world

See the pyramids

Swim with dolphins

And when we done with that

Travel 238,855

To the MOON and BACK

Peace & Love

Song that inspired the poem: David Bowie “Moonage Daydream”

Gracefully Broken

Life changing drastically 

And looking in the past, it seems

the trauma that’s attached to me

Has turned me to the “Bag Lady” I never meant to be

Holding on to the image of me others molded 

Not able to keep up so I am scolding

Myself continuously 

Tracking my progress comparing it to everyone around me

Wondering what I’m doing wrong because nothing seems to be going right

Beating myself up crying every night 

Holding on to every bit of fight 

Left in me, that’s all that’s left in me

Attempting everything in my power to bring back that light 

That used to shine so bright 

No matter the ideas of others, oh

No matter the plight 

Instead of holding my mirror next to theirs 

Never getting a reflection that’s clear

A need to change direction 

Reflect my mirror on what I’m facing 

Self doubt, fears, disappointment, heartbreak, displacing 

Slowly chipping away at the problems I put in my way

That keep me from reaching my dreams

Blaming everyone else instead of the one that needs to be 

And no, this is not a negative thing

Finally realizing that I’m the one to blame

Now able to move forward with grace to make a change 

So now she walks with her head held high 

Letting the words of hate and shame from others fly by

Because she realizes they aren’t me

What’s meant for them ain’t meant for me 

My blessings will never be their blessings 

Because this is my life and my lessons 

Take advantage of the challenges God has placed on my path

Cuz I know the down times will never last 

Cuz the sun will shine again 

Her smile will return from a grin

And with the support of her loved ones 

With the strength of God within 

Strutting Gracefully in her brokenness 

Is where her healing begins 

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I that live, but Christ liveth in me: and that life which I now live in the flesh I live in faith, the faith which is in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself up for me.”

Galatians 2:20 ASV

Unbothered

Open and exposed

Cuz she has bruises on her ego

Got people talkin 

Wondering where she go

Rats got all ears in

Everybody think they know

Her reaction to them scratchin

Got the all diggin in

Wonderin where she’s been

Did she creep with her

Did she creep with him

Not enough to talk about in a day

So they indulge themselves in her sins

Committing one within

But pay that no never mind

Cuz she’ll be fine 

Have God as her right hand man

See, she has the power of him within

She need not move, not disturb her peace

Give it all to God and he’ll fall at your feet

Romans 12:19 

AVENGE NOT YOURSELVES, BELOVED, BUT GIVE PLACE UNTO THE WRATH OF GOD: FOR WRITTEN, VENGEANCE BELONGETH UNTO ME; I WILL

Last night I cried by myself

Lately I have been on this high of happiness. No matter the energy people bring around me I have been smiling and simply in awe. I am now 35 and I am blessed to have survived. But last night I was speaking to my sister about our fathers health. We are getting to that age where we are going to lose people we love. People who once were our heroes. My father was mine for the first ten years of my life. Even though he beat me for no reason. I understand now it's because of his past trauma. I wish my father would have gone to therapy. To cleanse himself from the pain of his losses. Growing up my father was everything to me and my sister. For the first ten years of my life I barely saw my mom because she was working. My father was the stay at home parent and he was great. He would play sports with us and make sure we kept up with our school work. After the split, I started seeing a different person in my father; the drunk and belligerent father. But I still kept loving him. Not knowing, this is not a phase… this will be his crutch for the rest of his life. Things are not going well? Drink. Thinking about the past? Drink. Blaming himself because of his parents flaws? Drink. As a concerned son I wanted to help but he didn’t want any parts of it. He got aggressive and rude with me at 12. When I was 13 he accused me of something I will not recover from for years to come. At 13 my eyes turned red and I sought revenge. I wanted him to hurt like he hurt me. This time it wasn’t physical. It was emotional. He emotionally fucked me up at 13. For the first time he wasn’t my hero any longer. I was lost. My grades in school dwindled. My mom wasn’t the most stable parent at the time. So me and my sister were on our own.

  Fast forward to the present time, after speaking to my sister I started to think, damn, do I regret not trying to have a relationship with my father? I gave up when I was 14, when it was evident he wasn’t going to apologize. I have lost so much time. Lost time in pain, tears and anger. I would see him here and there. I would give him my new number. He will call me drunk and he will tell me things that were deflating me. Tearing me apart. I just wanted an apology. Instead, he would try to make me feel bad for not reaching out to him. He will say “I know you don’t love me anymore”. That’s the type of shit I didn’t want to hear. I realized after I went to therapy and found my way through these dark clouds I cannot be around people who don’t practice accountability or lack self awareness. I realized my power. Just leave it alone. Some people do not change. For whatever it’s worth just love them from afar. But this is my father. I wish my kids had a relationship with him. Called him papa. I wish he could give me advice. I wish he would put the bottle of liquor down and love himself… wish he saw his self worth. I wish he could tell me about his past, but we have to stay in reality. I thought about all of this last night… so yeah, I cried by myself.

I’m so obsessed with being a great father. It isn't because of what he didn’t do, it’s because I want to. My WILL to be there for my kids. My WILL to not drink myself to be a belligerent asshole. My WILL to get the job done.

Peace & Love

Songs that inspired this rant: Jay-z “Where have you been”, Beanie Sigel “ Still got love for you”, Kendrick Lamar “Alright”

Dedicated to my kids. My sister Sally, love our talks. Love you.

I don’t like red anymore, I like blue, I love blue now

Because it reminds me of the opposite of you

Everything I shouldn’t accept

Everything I shouldn’t do

The mistakes I need to avoid because they led me to you

And yea it was fun while it lasted

Until things got drastic and I didn’t know where to go

Because who you were all along was starting to show

You told me you would never change but I would.

Warned me from the beginning that I would never be the same

Made me almost lose my fucking mind and I’m the one to blame

Threatened my life

Called me names

Provoked me to get a knife

But that evoked no shame

But now you don’t come around

Because you love your life

But when mine was being played with you loved that, right?

“STOP FUCKING PLAYING WITH ME”

“WHY DID YOU JUST MUSH ME”

“DON’T RAISE YOUR FUCKING HAND AT ME”

Cause you could see the fear in my eyes

You could hear the fright in my voice

But you couldn’t feel the rage inside

Or notice that the right to survive is my choice

Cause you’re only gonna make me feel small but for so long

Not going to continue to take advantage of my anxieties and use them against me

Now, Only have one time to make me feel like I’m doing the wrong

Cuz I’m not about to keep singing the same ole song

It started off right then everything went wrong

Cuz them red flags all along

Inside crying for affection and attention

While all he had was I’ll intentions

Never meant to make me feel strong

Deplete all of my energy and use it as his own

But it’s ok now, I’ve learned my lesson

Won’t look at red the same, but damn this was a blessing

“Reciprocation”

It is divine 

as if by design

the way our minds 

align and intertwine

and become one

and something they could 

never be on their own

Alone 

we shine

but when we combine 

we glow

it isn't dangerous

or strange to us

we let our cup 

fill up

until it overflows

Whenever we're together

we have a plethora 

of concepts 

all at once 

and yet

we cannot express 

a single thought aloud

but we just know somehow

we say more with less

I don't know what possesses us

and renders us

helpless

or speechless 

but we don't need words

to know what we mean

It's almost too much

to manage

whatever this is

it is needed

it is relieving

moments so unbelievably explosive

without causing any of the damage

The Fifth Element

She has a perfect smile
She’s my high when I’m low
She’s my everything
Future and all
Perfect in every way
The laugh
Even when she is mad
Red when she feels humility
Blue when I kiss her
Gray when I leave her
She says she needs me
She doesn’t beg for attention
She just exist around me
In me
So fluent with love
So easy to love back
Easy
Like breathing
Want to share everything with her
The FIRE of love
WATER her soul
fly through the WIND
till our souls is release from the EARTH
They say no human is perfect, But
When I look into her eyes
She is the SUPREME being

Peace and Love

Songs that inspired me : Method Man ft Mary J Blige “All I need”, Drake “Yebba’s Heartbreak”

Gear shift, full power!

More aware of what's going on here

Shifting my focus to accepting things for what they are

Instead of holding on to how it appears

Say all the material shit is trivial and you do care

Say if I mess with you I don't have standards, cause that's not what real women do

But when I leave and stick up for me

This is the only place you want to be

"How could you hurt me bitch"

Shifting the focus on my desires

No longer changing me just for you to see

How much light is in my soul cause you just take it away from me

Can now decipher the signs so I'm not blind

Can't let you have control over the state of my mind

Taking back my power

Taking back my time

Can't respect me while I'm growing

Invest in you? I'm fine

I'll just change lanes and go my own way

I'll keep going up, and you can go that way.

I NEED SPACE

I'm like the moon

whole

no matter what phase I'm in

so don't feel the obligation

to complete me

because you can only see

a piece of me

and assume I'm missing something

how audacious

I can't take this

self medicated

I get so high I levitate

I space out literally

unaffected by gravity

yet others find themselves

gravitate towards me

I'm so above the deception

and people's projections

That makes me question

my own self worth

I'm a rare commodity

I'm only an oddity

in the wrong company

of the wannabes

and the basic

the fake and

those threatened by elevation

enlightenment

was never meant

for the complacent

I'm on a different wavelength

I'm not giving my lessons

and conceptions

to those who'll waste it

copy and paste it

delete my name

and try to replace it

repeat my words

but could never relate

that is why I keep my distance

because I know the wicked intentions of friendly faces

Rise & Shine

What are you afraid of? Why wake up mad? Smile. You get to see more. You get to breathe. You get to live. Forget the Moon. Let the sun rays nourish us. Smiling can be our addiction. Deal with your past. Or leave it there. Life full of up and downs.The up is what make the memories. Don’t be so down on yourself. We are imperfect. Except your smile. Don’t waste it.

Peace and Love

Song that inspired me: Drake ”Champagne Poetry”, Hans Zimmer “Interstellar Medley”

Hanging up my Jersey

Think I’m doing what’s best for me 

Think I’m making the right decision 

Think I know what my heart needs

Think that time would help the healing 

Thought you’d always be here

Thought you’d never leave 

Thought that by picking me the tears would disappear

Hoping one day you’d come back to me 

But a lie is what you told 

Wanted to see where I’d rather go 

What I pick myself and be bold 

Or hold on to the thought of love and not know where to go 

I guess I can’t blame anyone but myself 

For not showing what my heart desires 

Too stuck on pride to give him his flowers 

But now that I’m aware 

I know the path to take 

The one that is alone 

So self love can come to play 

Cuz if you don’t know yourself 

You can’t love someone else 

Sometimes you just need to put yourself on the shelf

The High of Sex

What's beautiful is when our hearts is pounding to the same beat
Catching breaths
While souls intertwine
They say sex and love is not the same
See everyone seeks fame
For the love that got away
Or the love that stays away
But don't be afraid
The fear don't last forever
But the minutes I'm inside you hope it feels like it's mine
The more you get it
The more you want it
Hope you mean when you scream and moan
The cries of never being alone
Love me please me
Enjoy every stroke
Sex that makes you float
Don't let the affair end

Peace and Love

Songs that inspired me to write this poem: The Isley Brothers “Between the Sheets”, Frank Ocean “Pyramids”

RECLAMATION

As I try to quiet my mind 

And I look back in time 

I can see how all along I was in denial

Afraid to be me confidently 

In fear of what everyone says about me 

But everyone got an opinion 

About what you should be doing

How you should be moving 

But they don’t know what you’ve been through 

They weren’t there all the nights you had to cry yourself to sleep 

Knowing in your heart this isn’t how things should be

I am capable of so many things 

No longer stress over how people view me

“Bitch you’ll never be able to do me how I do me…

A bitch would fold cuz she can’t hold all this weight on my shoulders 

And as I get older my force gets colder 

But my heart stays warm

Because I do want love 

Have so much to give 

But tired of pouring love into motherfuckahs that’s just going to disappear 

Break my heart and leave me standing here 

Then laugh behind my back like it never meant shit 

Can now say I learned my lesson 

Be afraid to be myself from the beginning 

And leave them where they are if they can’t accept this blessing

If they can’t love all of me during my lows

Then they can’t be here when blessings start pouring in 

Love to treat me like I’m nothing 

But always need something 

I have nothing to bring to the table 

But you are still sitting here 

So imma just remove myself 

No longer need to be here 

I can now admit my wrongs 

Because that’s what life is all along 

Learning and growing 

Through heartbreak and heartache 

Mistake after mistake 

Comfortably Numb

There's comfort in the panic

in my anxiety

I know my manic

rely on it artistically

happiness is beautiful

but my best stems from the ugly

from the rage

from the traumatic

I'm fueled

by the darkest parts inside of me

the odd and the unusual

the abusive and the brutal

the mean and cruel

from rejection and refusal

and the lack of approval

my writing

is biding

next time I'll cry

or aligning with that constant feeling

of me wanting to die

like I'm always on the verge

of losing my last nerve

and that is when my poetry is at its full worth

and potential

I function best through the detrimental

amidst the wreckage

I deliver the best message

chaos is my norm

it's in the middle of my brokenness

that my best lines take form

when I'm shattered

battered

tattered and worn

when I'm at !my weakest

that is when

my strongest pieces are born

Conditioned Prescription

Here I go 

to swallow 

these antidepressants 

as I sit in the incandescent glow

of the TV

I assess then reassess

necessary evil to suppress it

stare at the pills with resentment 

the treatment

is bittersweet

and I worry about trading being present

with being happy

I hate you depression

and then again

you're all I know

been by my side since adolescence 

what an investment 

you've made in me

I'd be honored under a different circumstance

Pour the Champagne

Life can be hard. Life can be unfair at times but you survived. Forget survivors guilt. We are here at this very moment for a reason. Celebrate. You finally work the courage to go back to school? Celebrate. You are finally free from the exhaustion of your job? Celebrate. No matter how little you think the accomplishment is. Celebrate. Look around you. The world is madness but your world don’t have to be. There’s more to it than social media. Breathe. Smile. Fulfill your destiny.

Lately I have been so happy *knocks on wood*. Realizing you are in the driver seat is realizing your power. I am so excited for my journey. Knowing that my trials & tribulations does not define me. I”m not going to lie to you. I almost let the struggle hardened my heart. Turn it cold like a Canadian winter. I meditated. Kept one eye open. Waited for my opportunity. Took it.

Rolled my joint. Smoke with papers only. Its the “playa” way. Popped a bottle of bubbly. She looks over and say “baby its just Wednesday”. I responded, “We here. Alive. We defeated our demons. Pour the damn champagne”

Peace and Love

"Anxiety"

Everyone has a diagnosis

for my neurosis

or a cure or advice

I've heard every line

thinkable

"Pray for strength,"- it's biblical.

"Try therapy,"- it's fixable.

"Medicate,"- it's clinical.

"Think positive,"- I'm cynical.

Truly, it's that I'm too analytical

and my rhythmical frequencies

and whimsical heartbeat

on a different plane

or wavelength

I'm a rare original individual

who values being alone

and cannot be understood by the typical

no matter how transparent I try to be

it's difficult

to come down levels

to settle

for what's beneath me

I turn invisible mid conversation

exasperated by the blind compliancy

and since they could never fathom why

I call it...

Anxiety