In the darkness
They say don't stay in the dark too long
But I tell them
It's my finest work
So use to pain
The numbness from rejections
When every inch it's a win
Fuck gaining a follower
I want to see my kids win
Here
"Step into your own footprints"
No matter the obstacles
We overcome
Forget the days of being po
We go for the score
Even when they move the goal post
Move different
Sometimes I am distant
Be careful
when you play in the dark
Miserable people love to pull you deeper
While you trying
Shed off “survivor mode”
Read the WORLD
Bitterness is in the aroma
Hate seeing happiness
Even if its in the BLACK VOID
So I levitate
Stay within my circle
Even when we celebrate
Songs playing in the background: JMSN “‘Bout it”, Big Sean “Nothing is Stopping You”, Mac Miller “Come Back to Earth”, Isaiah Rashad feat. Zacari & Kendrick Lamar “Wat’s Wrong”
It Goes Without Saying
invisibility makes you behave
ravenously anything and
everything to be seen
genuinely understood and
received until
eventually you lose yourself chasing
the impossible
you'll swallow pride in hopes
of not having squandered
unconditional love
Poetry Reluctancy
I don't even want to write anymore because everything
always comes back to him
I try to steer
clear
of that genre
and I hate
that I always end up here
producing
lines that fixate
on heart ache
as if I want to be reducing
my art to this
emotional roller coaster drama
I don't even want to write anymore
because it always circulates
around the debilitating
weight
of loving someone who can not reciprocate
someone who is incapable of love
or at least
incapable of loving me
I pick up a pen
to do anything
but think of him
and yet
it quickly
becomes just that
tear stained pages
with eloquently
worded phrases
that simply decorate
my suffering
Written down
are all the things I could never say
aloud
to him
or anyone
wasted ink
on crumbled pages
he infects every piece
I write
contagious
Foolishness
Fantasies of us were dangerous
overpowering my logic, an
oasis calling
laborous on a regular basis
it's strange, this urge to persist
searching for something that doesn't exist
hazardous pattern, overactive imagination
never worth the credit I gave it
evidently, my interest in you
seems to be what made you interesting
succinct
Delusional
I've never displayed such patience
as I have with you, let's face it, I put
myself on standby
and realized I was
doomed to
exist in this
loveless blurry
unfortunate
state of purgatory like
I'm stuck on wait between your
omnipotent imprisonment and
narcissistic complex I'm
all fucked up
love Stockholm syndrome
I've been so
dumb- a voluntary hostage
I know it's a coping mechanism
overcompensation for the emptiness
that comes with the lack of reciprocation
Masochistic
maybe I do this on purpose
as a feat of
strength like a challenge
or perhaps it builds
character, I refuse to admit
how it's an excuse, sad truth
is I love it
suffering suffuse
the worse it hurts, the more fulfilling
I'm aware I have issues because I
choose this willingly
Miss Brown Eyes
The way you look at me
it’s a feeling
Her eyes reflect the earth’s own crown.
Like caramel kissed by morning light,
They hold the day; they hold the night.
Soft amber pools where secrets lie,
A quiet strength that won't deny.
Through storms and calm, through joy and sighs,
The world transforms in brown-eyed skies.
No need for stars to light her face,
Her gaze, a calm and steady place.
A window to a boundless sea,
Where love and mystery both roam free.
Songs Playing in the background: NxWorries~Knxwledge~Anderson .Paak “Everybody Gets Down”, Leon Thomas “Vibes Don’t Lie”, The Isley Brothers “Between the sheets”, Frank Ocean“NovaCane”, Bad Bunny “Turista”, Fabolous~Trey Songs “Slow Down”, Elhae~Ambre“I Choose You”
Last SUMMER
Last summer without my true love felt like an endless stretch of quiet afternoons and hollow sunsets. The absence of their presence made every familiar place seem distant, as if the colors had faded and the air lacked warmth. Routine moments and the laughter that used to fill the days was replaced by a persistent ache. Despite the heat of the season, a lingering chill settled deep inside, reminding me that some spaces are only truly alive when filled with the person you hold dear.
Dedicate this to you:
Golden rays caress the skin,
Warmth that melts the world within,
Laughter floats on balmy air,
Secrets whispered everywhere.
Sandy beaches, tangled toes,
Sunset paints in fiery glows,
Hands entwined, hearts beat in time,
Summer love, a fleeting rhyme.
Fireflies dance in twilight's hush,
Twinkling stars in passion’s rush,
Moments caught in endless sun,
Two souls merge and become one.
But summer fades to autumn’s shade,
Yet in the heart, that love won’t fade,
A season’s flame, both bright and true,
Forever summer, me and you.
Music playing while I wrote this: Frank Ocean “Thinking of you”
CROWN
To my young QUEEN JAZZ,
“AND I WONDER, IF YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS”
To see you achieve
To see your growth
From Batgirl to Batwoman
Gotham wont be the same
But its your time to take flight
So proud to be your dad
We are proud to celebrate our daughter’s high school graduation, marking the successful completion of an important chapter in her life. Her hard work, dedication, and perseverance have led her to this milestone, and we look forward to watching her pursue new opportunities with the same passion and determination. Congratulations on this well-deserved achievement! No matter what, daddy will be here. I am one phone call away.
Peace and love
Music played while writing this blog: Kendrick Lamar “Man at the garden”, Kanye West “I wonder”, Kendrick Lamar “Money Trees”
“Sweet Baby Blue”
My Sweet Baby Blue
How could I ever give up on you
Not quite where others expect me to be
Seem to be
Giving up on me
Putting my dreams on the back burner
As if I could never return
As if this redirection isn’t a blessing but a burn
A burn to my hopes and wishes
How could I ever give that up
For something so small that could be taken away
Could always have another,
Sweet Baby Blue
But dreams don’t last forever
No, not like you do
In my mind
Or in my life
Which one would I rather choose
To hold my Sweet Baby Blue in my mind
Or hold my Sweet Baby Blue in my arms
A decision that has me askew
So I care for your maker
Seems like my first true love, again
How quickly Blue came to
Makes me wonder, Do I really know you
Give you all my heart
Like everything depended on it
Me, you, Blue
Everything depended on it
But in the end it feels like it’s all for nothing
Except Sweet Baby Blue
Because even though I can’t have your maker
I’ll never stop loving you
My Sweet Baby Blue
I can imagine your smile
How sweet and innocently so
How your laugh will echo through my heart
Like a cave with never ending songs
My Sweet Baby Blue
I can’t wait to hold you close
Smell your scent that says I’m finally here
As you bring me tears of joy
YOU.ME.ours
You ever meet a person
who can see into your soul?
Who knows when your mind is racing and when you start to lose control
Who by looking into your eyes makes you feel at ease
Who doesn't say a word yet reminds you to just breathe
Who recognizes your anxieties
all your highs and lows
Someone who just gets you and
through their eyes it shows
Who's touch calms your body
Whos smile calms your soul
Whos words calm your heart
And it gives you back
Dior & Purple Haze
She spoke.
"Hug me until I smell like you. Love me till I smell like you. I'm not washing my shirt in the next cycle."
Dior & weed.
Hold my hand
Let’s be FREE
It’s time to FLEE
Match my aesthetic
save me from the “real world”
Be my medic.
Looking forward to
sunrises & sun sets
smoking with the sunroof open
Make the sky purple
Keep my shirt just for the fragrance
They say happiness comes from the inside. But your cup spills into my soul. So anytime you whisper “LOVEYOU” it can be so overwhelming. Lay your head on my shoulder while I puff. The smell of weed doesn’t bother. Especially when the cologne has you hypnotize. People are scared to be themselves. Scared to take the leap. Fuck them when they criticize. Let them die on that hill. See misery is difficult especially when it’s time to swallow that pill.
Wrote this listening to: Solange, Cleo Sol, David Bowie, The Beatles
Nights under a different moon
The whole village is sleep. We are awake. Champagne breaths. Music at the lowest decimal. Discussing the music choice while we break from sex. 4am giggles. Can’t keep our lips off each other. Nights like this makes life worth living. When I look at you, I’m under your spell. Our path crosses once more. We want the same thing. EACH OTHER.
Even when I turn to sand, I will find you.
Wrote this meditating. Thinking of YOU.
Worlds Apart
Inspired by “Space Wolves”
While I pack up
I wonder what drove you so far
From me
We been searching our whole lives for
Fire
To keep us warm at night
No smoke signal, but
My heart is telling me you need me
While danger looms
This world or the other
Make the enemies disappear
Cover your eyes
I don’t want you to see
How ugly I can get
Look beyond the battle scars
Rocket fuel is full
Ill travel anywhere
Doesn’t matter how far
As long we have us
we can wake up
to a different star
Peace & Love
Song playing while writing: David Bowie“Heroes”
February smiles
Every time I think of you, I smile
Miss you
soon you drive off
love when we hug
we smell like each other
Don’t ever want to go back to strangers
stuck on what if’s
How can we move on
when we kiss our lips lock
Damn
I just want to make you laugh
Time is flying
Hurry back
Valentines’ day approaching
You deserve roses
but Orchids for the rest of your life
Hope when you read this
your heart warms up during the cold front
Read this every cold month
PEACE & LOVE
Songs playing while writing: Mitski “My love Mine All Mine”, Yebba “Yebba’s Heartbreak”, Coldplay “Sparks”
Purple SOULS
Nights like these
We stroll through traffic
while you pour into my cup
I pour into yours
Some paths lead to the UNTHINKABLE
LIFE is better when there is no care
The way the world is rotting
There is no time to spare
It took me FOREVER
To work up
my courage to live for myself
I know my PURPLE
Is what you need
Inhale
Exhale VIOLET
eXPEDITIONs
On this one
I’m alone
The skies are dark
one thing I can do
I can find the light
stare at the star
with the coolest shades
They say
“Victory favors the brave”
imagine that
just a leap of faith
Your world would change
They called me crazy
But to me
staying ordinary is insane
M.i.A
We deserve this
Don’t feel guilty because YOU feel completed
Got more to come
Its ok to FLY
Keep winning
Eventually the truth will be revealed
your LOVE is worthy
Fuck ANYONE who makes you question yourself
See
You build yourself to this MONSTER
Now they want to control you
But
They didn’t believe
Now they want to reap the benefits
1993 FEELING 1984(vaporized)
Fade into Purple HAZE
You had your shot. NOW live in regret. Don’t wonder what happened. You made your choice. You won’t see me, but you will hear about me. They whisper about me while they watch me through their blind eyes. Trying to find me in them. SUCKA. Good luck.
Peace & Love